Sometimes I wonder what I'd say to you if you suddenly walked back into my life again. I wonder what I'd say to you after all this time. After you broke my heart and left. But most of all, I wonder what you would say to me.
To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or to ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, isn’t losing. It’s not about pride. It’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome them and move on. Letting go is having the courage to accept, the strength to keep moving. Because letting go is growing up.
You thought I couldn’t do this without you, but guess what, I sleep great at night now. I don’t hurt because you’re not here. I just had to learn to accept it and move on, and I did. But you, you’re the one who keeps crawling back. So next time you think “oh hey, she’s happy, gotta mess that up,” it’s not going to happen, because this time, you’re not going to get what you want. This time, I’m going to get what I want and what I want is not you.
“I’ve found that it`s a good thing to go through heartache at one point or another in your lifetime. Not the petty, childhood heartache. But the horrible kind we’ve experienced. But see, when you get to the healing part of this, you will have so much love to share with someone. You will be able to appreciate someone in ways even you cannot understand. You will be so much stronger than you were before. I know how much this sucks right now and I know it seems unfair, but when it’s all said and done with, this will all make sense. All this pain you are going through at this moment will eventually teach you some of the greatest lessons in life you will ever need to learn.”—
I hate how you sit there and act like you know me. Let's get this straight. You used to know me. And you remember what happened with that situation? See, that girl you used to know… she left. Just like you did.
“There is always gonna be that one person, the one who got away, the one who fucked you up, the one who broke your heart, the one you swore you would love forever. That person, who becomes not even a person at some point, but becomes this overwhelming being, this sense of loss that you carry with you. They are not worth it. Seriously, stop crying right now. Maybe you cannot see it right now, maybe all the other stuff that gets tossed in the pile of human relationships make it very hard to see, but people who treat you badly, are bad.”—
Sometimes I really wonder how stupid it would seem to him. How I sit here with my eyes never leaving the screen of my phone waiting for his new text. Or refreshing the screen until it says he’s online. Or how when I miss him I read the things he told me months and months ago. I really wonder what he would say if he knew he meant that much to me.
I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.
A shot to kill the pain, a pill to drain the shame, a purge to stop the gain, a cut to break the vein, a smoke to cease the crave, a drink to win the game, and addictions an addiction because it always hurts the same.
“All I ever wanted was someone who will stay, no matter how complicated I may be. The game ain’t always fair and that’s the thing though, you can play your heart out but not everyone ends up with an engagement ring though.”—Drake (via s-leeezy)